Adequate Wordsmith

Way back in twenty-sixteen I went and penned a ditty
About the rapper I was clearly just pretending to be
But I think I've been improving pretty evidently
And there's a million people out there who would tend to agree
Now who am I to attest that I am really clearly the best at rhymes?
Will I be left behind or stand the test of time?
Success predestined? We've yet to find
Though far be it from me to come and claim superiority
My vids that hit the milly are quite plainly a majority
Oh honestly, did you not check my policy?
I always rap in character and hardly ever drop as me
Historically, you probably first heard memes on TikTok of me
Extolling on the horrors of a corporate economy

So, if you sit back and have a listen, let me have a moment
I truly haven't had a minute yet to have a go at
Doing that cool rapper bit and penning bars and flows just
Supercalifragilisticexpibraggadocious
Negotious, verbosity velocious
In quality? Ambrosious - thesaurus adiposis
I may not be an A-lister but I'm still on a list
Of rappers who get paid, so I must make pretty dope shit
Mitosis and Moses could never split opinions so well
Like mitochondria, I'm the powerhouse of the sell
Defined a genre decrying those with mountains of wealth
And then made millions on the million of you sounding my bell

You're listening to the missive of an adequate wordsmith
But because they're insecure they felt they had to confirm it
So, if you're a bit indifferent you clicked the track
Here's a few more minutes you won't get back

Am I a rap god? No! But I'm surely in the rap clergy
Spitting like confession in the booth when I rap nerdy
Father, forgive me I have syn-co-pa-ted
Beat's off but they'll never make their tracks dirty
Rocked up to the strip with my duds all glistening
Got more drip than octuplet christenings
Guttering ripped and it's thundering, drizzling
One gets dipped, every youngster's dribbling
Pack more paper than Dunder Mifflin
Bars so hard that my puns need chiselling
The ladies, the gays and theys wanna play
But mum's here visiting

Spit so hot I gotta keep my verses in urns
Other rappers green with envy – call it Verdigris burns
Though, perhaps maybe I'm milking it where words are concerned
My bars are buttery smooth because they're perfectly churned
My similes and metaphors are intricately clever
Yours are lacking, rhymes are flagging
Like you've written them in semaphore
I'm chilling on the beach, you're adrift and yet to get to shore
You never made the sales, so I think you'll have to peddle more

Yeah, I'm doing a whistle break
What are you gonna do about it?
Just wanted something to space things out before the bridge starts
Oh, here we go

All these years chasing meaningless numbers
Hoping to flee from this feeling of numbness
Trying to drown all my doubts and my fears in the light of acclaim
For eternity now my self-worth has been tied
To the number of characters you have to type
Into YouTube before it can guess you are writing my name
Was it worth all the work and the stress and the pain?
All the worries that lurk and obsess in my brain
All the nights without sleep, all the fatigue and tired
All the ungodly gallons of caffeine required

My self-image anxieties I haven't resolved
And the endless offensive of admin involved
The unwinnable game of just trying to keep
To an algorithm changing its mind every week
All the months spent in crunch penning verses and rhyme
To complete dissolution of personal time
I make songs about games but the irony's clear
That I've not actually played one for fun now in years
All the torturous exhaustion contorted and mixed
With the knowledge my job could be instantly nixed
Google could, should they want, kill me off with a click
Now I'm here at the top, was it worth all of this?

Yeah
Yeah, actually, it was
I'm in a Lamborghini
I can't even drive

You're listening to the missive of an adequate wordsmith
Though their need to sound impressive is quite frankly absurdist
So, if you're a bit indifferent you clicked the track
Here's a few more minutes you won't get back

You know I put the sauce in the cans like I'm Heinz beans
New resolution to command your entire screen
Won't take a rest – improvising a line spree
Drop off the cuff and escape from the crime scene
Foes all flake when they're faced with my rhyme schemes
Ninety-nine problems, yeah, my van's out of ice creams
Flows got you froze as you stand in my high-beams
Struggling to take it all in – size queen
Linguistically I get them in hysterics
The folks who write the dictionary are referencing my lyrics
Pork-manteaus go ham, pen indelibly-soteric
Yeah, I built my own brand, but I'll never be generic

I'm the godfather of verse
I write lines that are quite hard to traverse
I slay that They/Them mayhem every day
And I'm just starting the hearse
'Cause it's your funeral, baby
You can hate me, but I can't be deterred
Yours are marginally worse than the bars I've rehearsed
Come and spar with a nerd, watch your ass get interred
This vid has got you thinking I've a life of lavish luxury
Assisted by the fact it's done entirely tax deductibly
That's why I could quite comfortably still find the cash to budget these
Impressive looking stacks of totally artificial currency
I can't believe I do this as a job
And I'm so insanely grateful for the view here at the top
Though I'm afraid that I forgot to pack a hat to doff
So, after all these years I've still no way to cap it off

You're listening to the missive of an adequate wordsmith
I got Wilde self-importance if I have to be Ernest
So, if you're a bit indifferent you clicked the track
Here's a few more minutes you won't get back
More imperviously wordy than a Catholic service
I'm delivering prime rhymes like an Amazon purchase
Spit squeaky clean like I snack on detergent
Got the beets in the bag, you're a satchel of turnips

Lyrical flips? I pack a spatula permit
And I'm wiping out foes like a laminate surface
Endless bags to the Banks, yeah I'm practically perfect
This Lambo was a rental and I have to return it
I've a bunch of fine rhymes that you haven't all heard yet
And I really didn't want to end the track with a surplus
Like mechanical Kermit with a hand up his circuits
An incredible rhyme that really hasn't a purpose
I'm on so many levels need my landings refurbished
Now I'm wondering if this ending bit was actually worth it
'Cause should they develop extra ends to candles I'd burn it
Do you think they'll notice if I reuse adequate wordsmith

One million subscribers
Wow!
Thank you so much
I'm gonna regret doing this here
Because it means I'll have to lip sync it in the video
Which will be a nightmare
But I'm doing it for you
'Cause I love you
I'll see you at two million I guess?
I mean, probably before then but you get what I mean
Oh, oh
We- we didn't do a fade-out did we?