Retrograde

These days I feel like I’m losing my mind
But, It’ s cool I never talk about it 
Can’t tell what’s real 
When I open my eyes can you cut me so I notice it

These Days I’m back 
To the place where it all started 
When I was still so damn innocent
These days so bad  
I can’t tell if this a memory 
I hope I’m even making sense

I tried to call bout a hundred times
But I did it just cause he made me
I don’t know if I believe in you 
But I’m hoping that you could save me

Why I had to go, man?
I just got paid 
I  DON'T CARE if they think it’s time to retrograde
IT’S NOT FAIR I ain’t never did no wrong that way 
No, not now
Can you please just let me stay?

So in the end do my family mean nothing to you?
THERE'S NO PLAN?
You be offing cause it’s something to do?
THERE'S NO END 
You’ve forgotten what’ s the meaning of new 
IT'S NOT REAL
 
But my heart has gotten lost with the truth
And now I’m thinking bout the memories and problems we had
And when compared to darker melodies, it wasn’t that bad
I’m counting who is gon remember me, the feelings we had
I loved the feel of every moment, take it happy, to sad 
 
I got

You, me, mom, dad
Got the picture on the fridge
(Like we was like that every night)
I feel so bad
Can I ever go back? 
(But that was only for the flight)

 I sit back in a daze
Thinking bout my life, if it changed
Two kids and a house
And my wife, every weekend we go out
If not we just laugh on the couch

In her smile
No fear 
No doubt

So every night I hold my breath
And feel the pressure come off when that knot round my neck

Please don’t save me yet
Please don’t save this soul

I’m too fucking gone
I can’t feel no more

Yet I feel too much
And I love you more
I just hate my self
And I can’t ignore

All this dark that I got

I was hoping I could change you 
Change the way that you thought

Maybe I’m too fucking hopeful 
Tie my stomach in knots
All I wanna do is save you 
At your feet I was numb
But truthfully I should be focusing on saving myself