New Halloween

Somehow it's already been a year
Embracing other versions to make this feeling disappear
Now I just feel you everywhere
It coincides with the guilt of knowing that I wasn't there

I was told that wouldn't have known
Told myself I was where you'd want me to be
But it's not that easy
I tried to be your light
Did my best to shine
Nothing I do feels right
As I went out all the time

How has it already been a year?
I skip over songs because they're too hard to hear
Like track two on "Benji" or "What Sarah Said"
They just hit too close when I'm already in my head

I was told you were half asleep
Told myself you would be proud of me
But it's not that easy
I tried to be your light
Did my best to shine
Nothing I do feels right
As I went out all the time

Somehow it's already been a year
You keep finding new ways to make yourself reappear
I hope you never leave me be

I haven't found the courage to listen to your last message to me