The Math Of Love Triangles (Feat. Rachel Bloom)

What's a girl to do when she's stuck between men?
It's like she's a Barbie with two perfect Kens
But wait, it just occurred to me
Maybe I can solve this with geometry
Yes, smarts can help this situation untangle
So professors, teach me the math of love triangles

Yay, time for book facts

A triangle is a polygon
With three edges and three vertices
Take the base times the height, cut that in half
To find the area of the surfaces

Uh huh, I wasn't really listening, but I can see
The center of the triangle is lil' old me

The math of love triangles
Isn't hard to learn
You're not taking in what we're saying
We're a little bit concerned
Yes, the math of love triangles is as simple as can be
Whichever Tom or Dick, I might pick
The center of the triangle is lil' old me
Actually a triangle has multiple centers

This triangle's scalene
That's astute, so I need to decide which man's more acute
Here's Pythagoras' theorem
Will this help me choose? If not, I'll be swinging from my hypotenuse
Let's take a look at what this line bisects
Is that spelled B-I-S-E-X?
Those are good puns but please pay attention
On no, professors, am I facing suspension?
Wee! A swing! It's literal suspension!

The math of love triangles
Isn't hard to learn
We're starting to suspect
You don't sincerely want to know about triangles
Yes, the math of love triangles
Is as simple as can be
I need to choose between men, but until then
The center of the triangle is lil' old me

Is this a triangle?
No, that's a shoe
Is this a triangle?
No, that's you
So I'm a triangle?
What? No!
One, two, three, six, eight, three
Go!

You don't seem to know how to count
We're sincerely worried about you
Catch me!
You're ruining the number!

This angle's right
Which angle's right?
No, not right, like correct
Ooh, are you erect?
No, 90 degrees
That's really erect

The math of love triangles
Is super duper fun
We're tired of all your tangents
That's also a triangle pun
Oh, thanks for teaching me man math
You all deserve a kiss
Lady, we're all gay
We get nothing out of this

Neither man will notice
My learning disability
'Cause the center of the triangle
Is lil' old sexy little baby me!