I Prayed To Die In A Ditch

(intro)
I ain't scared no more
Not of god, not of jail, not of dyin' poor
I been ready —
Just waitin' on that ditch to open wide

(verse 1)
Eyes half—dead, breath thick with rot
Prayin' to a sky that done forgot
Needle in my arm, dirt in my blood
Draggin' my sins through trailer park mud

Ain't no redemption when the light don't shine
Just a broke—down boy with a fucked—up mind
Sippin' turpentine tears with a crooked grin
Been losin' this war since it first begin

Momma cried, but i ain't listen
Papa died, i just went missin
Been fightin' myself with a rusted blade
Every night hopin' i don't get saved

(hook)
I prayed to die in a ditch
Where the rats got peace and the snakes don't snitch
I prayed to die in a ditch
Where the world don't talk and the pain don't itch
I prayed to die in a ditch
With a bottle, a blunt, and a final glitch
No heaven for me, just a pit i earned
I was born to rot, now it's my turn

(verse 2)
Shadows got hands, and they grippin' my neck
Trauma in the rearview, life's a wreck
Dreams gone flat like a trailer tire
Only thing left is this cold desire

To fade out slow with a cough and a curse
Write my will in a verse, lay it down in the dirt
They said i was gifted, but i spit like death
Truth in my throat with a smoker's breath

Ain't no light when you deep in the pain
Just a broke boy drownin' in shame
But i ain't ask for help, fuck your cross
I was born in sin, now i'm payin' the cost

(hook)
I prayed to die in a ditch
Where the rats got peace and the snakes don't snitch
I prayed to die in a ditch
Where the world don't talk and the pain don't itch
I prayed to die in a ditch
With a bottle, a blunt, and a final glitch
No heaven for me, just a pit i earned
I was born to rot, now it's my turn

(outro)
Bury me deep with my songs and scars
With a piss—warm beer and a beat—up heart
No choir, no pastor, no light, no pitch
Just silence
And a ditch