Struggling

[Intro]  
Yeah…  
I ain't glorifyin' shit—I'm survivin' it.  
This that bottle talkin' back, this that needle cryin'.  
This that truth they scared to spit…  
But I ain't scared of nothin' no more. Country Lunatic.

[Verse 1]  
I was born with a burden, not a damn silver spoon,  
Saw my mama nod off in the middle of a tune.  
Daddy ran out, bottle still in his hand,  
Left me starin’ at a demon I ain’t understand.  

Percs in the ashtray, fifth on the floor,  
I been knockin' on the reaper's door since I was four.  
Hood dreams shattered in a trailer park haze,  
Shootin' dope into my pain just to blur them days.  

Pill dust on the counter, mirror cracked like fate,  
Tryna snort away the hell that my soul can’t shake.  
And every prayer I said was a motherfuckin' lie,  
'Cause I ain't talkin' to God—just askin' why I ain’t die.  

[Chorus]  
I’m drownin’ in this bottle, fightin' with the ghosts,  
Tryna numb the feelin’ that I hate the most.  
Lost in the high, but the low come quick,  
Every fix just a nail in the box I picked.  

And I don’t wanna feel, but I don’t wanna fade,  
So I ride that line 'til the good Lord take.  
If I die tonight, just know I tried,  
But I ain’t been clean since my brother died.

[Verse 2]  
I done OD’d twice, woke up pissed,  
Not ‘cause I lived—'cause I didn’t get missed.  
Meth pipe talkin’, whisperin’ lies,  
Like "Just one hit and you’ll feel alive."  

But I’m tired of chasin' dragons, tired of the shakes,  
Tired of buryin' friends with my hands that break.  
Had a homeboy hang with a belt 'round his neck,  
And I ain’t felt peace since that goddamn wreck.  

Cold sweats, cold hearts, heat from the Glock,  
Either death or detox, pick the padlock.  
But I got a kid now, he don’t know this hell,  
So I’m fightin' every urge, every scream in the cell.  

[Chorus]  
I’m drownin’ in this bottle, fightin' with the ghosts,  
Tryna numb the feelin’ that I hate the most.  
Lost in the high, but the low come quick,  
Every fix just a nail in the box I picked.  

And I don’t wanna feel, but I don’t wanna fade,  
So I ride that line 'til the good Lord take.  
If I die tonight, just know I tried,  
But I ain’t been clean since my cousin died.

[Bridge]  
It’s a war that don’t end, it’s a hell that don’t sleep,  
It’s a voice in my head that be cuttin’ too deep.  
Ain’t no rehab for the guilt I got,  
Just a backroad prayer and a loaded Glock.

[Outro]  
So if you hear this song, and you feel that pain,  
Just know that you're not alone in the rain.  
Country Lunatic still breathin’, still bleedin’,  
Still fightin’ these demons that keep feedin’.  
One day at a time… if I make it. If not—  
Just tell my son I fought like a motherfuckin' outlaw.