Mistakes

It's no secret, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life
I've hurt a lot a people, that I've cared about dearly
And thought about taking my life
Oh, does that make you uncomfortable?
Good, that means I'm doin' it right
That means the music I'm makin'
Is makin' a difference, and I can live up to the hype
Yeah, I've made a lot a mistakes
I've done a lot I'ma take to my grave
Yeah, that's all I'm 'onna say
This is not up for debate
'Til I put my heart on the page
Like, I've got a fear of abandonment
I'm insecure, I feel like I'm inadequate
I went to hard knocks, I'm a graduate
Until my heart stops, I'll be rappin', it's
Subject matter that is passionate

I think it probably started when my dad left
Yeah, he's probably dead an' in a casket, or he was stabbed, shit
I only talked to the muthafucker, once in my life
Like, that's it, you think I care about him?
I could get a call, today, that said he'd drowned
An' I would hang it up, and go lay on my couch
And I would fall asleep, I wouldn't lose an ounce
If you thinkin' I'm fucked up, you're probably right
I'd never leave my son, despite what I'm like
Wait a minute, I'm not done, there's lots I could write
But I think I'ma move on, and stop with the spite
I'M JOKING!

You know what to expect when I step in the booth
Rip myself open and show you this thing in my chest
And see for yourself if it's true
What the fuck do you think?

I made a lot of mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes
I'm trying to figure out how to be a better person
I'm walking the opposite way, what I'm trying to say is
I made a lot of mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes
I'm trying to figure out how to be a better person
I don't think I got what it takes, I'm try'na say
I've made a lot a mistakes, a lot a mistakes
Throughout my life, that's why I'm try'na change
I've made a lot a mistakes, a lot a mistakes
Throughout my life, that's why I'm try'na change
All my fault
It's all my fault
It's all my fault
Yeah, it's all my fault, yeah

Yeah, I've made a lot a mistakes
I've done a lot I'ma take to my grave
Like a monster in a cage
I was caught up in a rage
I never stopped to think about
What I was doing
When I started, I never thought I'd influence
Anybody, with songs or with the music
I just went through a lot, and it's got me through it
I been called stupid, I been called abusive
It's probably true, to some degree
If you're wondering if I'd uppercut a bitch in the stomach
I probably wouldn't, but you wouldn't cheat, riiiight?

This is not for entertainment
I've been locked up in the basement
Quit the walkin' and the pacing
Who's the doc, if I ain't patient?
You should stop, but I'ma change it
BUT, HOW THE FUCK, DO YOU CHANGE?!
I don't get it, I feel like I'm going backwards
Looking at my past, and that hurts
Like, what if I neva' went through this shit, as a kid
And I neva' learned how to rap
And instead, I went to Stanford, got my Master's
Then I graduated from my class, first
Had a beautiful life, 'til the cancer
Took it's hold, and my last words were
I wish that I was a rapper

I made a lot a mistakes, I made a lot a mistakes
But, doin' this shit for the rest of my life, isn't one of 'em
I know, I got what it takes
So, say it again
I made a lot a mistakes, I made a lot a mistakes
But, doing this shit for the rest of my life, isn't one of 'em
I know, I got what it takes
So, say it again