Fault Line

You were calling out again
And I let it ring
I just couldn't do it
Told myself next time I'd be stronger
But there wasn't a next time
Was there
I heard the silence break through the wall
Her voice cracked like the sky had fallen
I knew before she said your name
And I've never heard mine the same
I carry the call I didn't take
Like a fault line under everything I fake
You were drowning and I turned away
Now your voice is the ghost in my quietest day
God, I swear I'd give anything
Just to mess it all up and try again
But I blinked and you were gone
And I still live like it's my fault
You were lightning in a world gone dim
Too wild, too kind, too broken within
I watched you fade behind your eyes
Well, I convinced myself it wasn't my fight
I hated how much I couldn't fix
How love still failed, how hands can slip
You needed more than I could be
And I still punish myself for my peace
I carry the call I didn't take
Like a fault line under everything I fake
You were drowning and I turned away
Now your voice is the ghost in my quietest day
God, I swear I'd give anything
Just to mess it all up and try again
But I blinked and you were gone
And I still live like it's my fault
Oh
Tossed up, withdrawn
And I heard it all through the wall
The scream, the fall, the silence after the call
And I just stood there frozen like I knew
Like I deserved to lose you
Hit me like static, hit me like guilt
I carry it deeper than I ever will
Say I couldn't save you, say I never tried
But I can't forgive myself for staying alive
I carry the call I didn't take
Like a cross that I'll never break
You were drowning, I turned away
And now I bleed in the spaces you used to take
God, I swear I'd give everything
Just to hear your voice through the static again
But I blinked and you were gone
And I still live like it's my fault
Still live like it's my fault
Still live like it's my