Kilts And Stilts

And now it's time for silly -hold it!
And now it's time for silly songs with Scottish Larry
The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly Scottish song

I can't tell ya how proud I am at this moment!

I dance on stilts
While he knits quilts (nice quilt!)
I sing with simulated Scottish island lilt (ah beautiful!)
He plays his bagpipes
Eats haggis melts (haggis!)
We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts (sing it lads)
In our red tartan kilts
We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts

Technically you stitch a quilt, but otherwise lovely!

Top of ze morning to you!

I'll have you know that's not in Scotland

I dance on stilts (excuse me sir!)
He sticthes quilts (what ya doing with a shamrock!)
I sing with simulated Northern Irish lilt (Irish?!)
He plays his whistle (what?)
Eats salted smelts (they're not on the menu)
We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts (I have nothing against me, I)
In our green tartan kilts
We feel so smart in our green tartan irish kilts (but this is a Scottish song!)

Take it to you!
Hooh!
I dance on stilts
He stitches quilts (what are ya doing!)
I sing with simulated English cockney lilt (English?!)
He plays his trumpet (goh)
Eats crumpet melts (give me that crumpet!)
We feel so smart in our St. George's english kilts (well ya shouldn't!)
In our St. George's kilts (no, wait!)
We feel so smart in our St. George's english kilts (no gooh)

Howdy y'all!
Stop it you, you're ruining me moment!

I dance on stilts
He stitches quilts (American!?)
I sing with ordinary unaccented lilt (I'm feeling dizzy)
He plays his banjo
Eats cheddar melts (I'm breaking you know)
We feel so smart in our star spangled striped kilts (stop it!)
In our star spangled kilts (stop that)
We feel so smart in our star spangled striped kilts (oh!)
We feel so smart in our star spangled striped kilts
This has been silly songs with Scottish Larry
Tune in next time to hear Larry say

Just get him some scotch tape and butterscotch, he'll be fine
Oh, my body lies already in heaps!