Since The Day We Met

I have lived my life though I have my regrets
If I lost any sleep well then I'd probably be dead
Something tells me you're good and you're not a threat
I've been indebted to you since the day that we met

Where do I start yeah where to begin
I'm a ticking time bomb boutta go pull the pin
I could take a pill and pop it putting me into a trance
I'm ash I'm air I'll be one with the plants

Suicidal thoughts got my ideation
Everything comes back when I'm slightly faded
Wanna get things out on a timely basis
When it's said and done well I might be jaded

Passively wish that my time's up soon
They all told me thanks for their favorite tunes
Well I'm glad I could make a bit of difference in your lives
Put a smile on my face keeping up a disguise

Fact is I just feel rotten to my heart
My regards I will send no need to alarm
Anybody with a conscience I will be fine
And I promise I got this drawn up a line

I have lived my life though I have my regrets
If I lost any sleep well then I'd probably be dead
Something tells me you're good and you're not a threat
I've been indebted to you since the day that we met

Where do I go yeah where to allow
Any judgment of me but they can't tell me how
So I live my life till I wither in the sun
And if things get bad well I got a loaded gun

Ain't my first choice but it sure won't be the last
I've amassed quite a bit of trauma from the past
Imma end it someday but I don't know when
So you might wanna talk to me least till then

Actively wish that my time's come near
Like how could I ruin everything in a year
Well I'm glad I could be a burden to the one I love
When you're looking where I'm at you know what I came from

Truth is I don't think that I'm much help
To the world as is so I tell myself
If I ever really made it I don't think I'll die
Full of joy or at peace or at least satisfied

Nothing really matters oh I'm such an actor
Where I'll wind up I admit don't know the answer
Line my skin with bruises war in me I'm losing
Smother all my views putting them inside my music

I have lived my life though I have my regrets
If I lost any sleep well then I'd probably be dead
Something tells me you're good and you're not a threat
I've been indebted to you since the day that we met

Nothing really matters oh I'm such an actor
Where I'll wind up I admit don't know the answer
Line my skin with bruises war in me I'm losing
Smother all my views putting them inside my music