Amnesia

When I wake up
Motivation
Doesn't give me any sensation
I get so sidetracked from the things
That don't even matter
I'm saying gotta realize that I'm not gonna
Please every single person in my life
I can be so difficult to deal with
Harm my body just to cope and to pass time
Put my shoes on
Walk outside and I got my fake face on
I'm alright then
Go about my day till the pain kicks in
When I'm home I'll be drowning in some bourbon
I'm sorry let you down
Made a promise can't keep then I relapse
Self loathing no denying
I'm my own worst enemy
I hate that

I have to tell myself won't always be this way
I take substances so I can numb the pain
I've done things that I'm not proud of
I admit
I wish I had amnesia so I could forget

Imagine if i become
The person that I dreamt of once
I'd be happy and you would too
I'm not a mistake
I promise you

Putting up with all the nonsense
Why my thoughts gotta be so toxic
ANything that makes me feel uncomfortable
I'd rather not cross with
An illusion I created
If it doesn' fit my Narrative
I will think you're untrusting and start doubting
Well that's not imperative
Grab ahold of accountability
Nobody gonna change what I need
Sit around complain
Drink away my pain
But the next day still gotta deal with
I'm falling keep crawling
I'm running outta time
I know that
Forget I'm in control
Let the negativity choose my path

I have to tell myself won't always be this way
I take substances so I can numb the pain
I've done things that I ain't proud of
I admit
I wish I ha amnesia so I could forget

Imagine if I become
The person that I dreamt of once
I'd be happy an you would too
I'm not a mistake I promise you

Yeah I have to tell myself won't always be this way
I take substances so I can numb the pain
I've done things that I'm not proud of
I admit
I wish I had amnesia so I could forget

Imagine if I become
The person that I dreamt of once
I'd be happy and you would too
I'm not a mistake I promise you