Why Do I Hate Myself

I stare into the mirror like a stranger in my skin
Every line upon my face is where the war begins
Is this the man I swore I’d never grow to be?
Or just a broken echo screaming back at me?

Why do I breathe fire just to feel alive?
Is this the price I pay to barely survive?
These hands have built, these hands destroy
Is this my fate, or just a ploy?

Why do i hate myself so much?
Is it him i’ve become or the ghost i clutch?
Am i proud of the rage that burns inside?
Or ashamed of the beast i try to hide?
I laugh in the dark, and it chills my soul
A cruel little sound i can’t control
The truth i fear, i now confess
I became the thing i hate — no less

Every promise that I made was carved in smoke
I wear my sins like armor, but it’s just a joke
I chased justice with a poisoned blade
Now I’m the villain in the war I made

Am I satisfied with this hollow crown?
Or drowning in a kingdom I burned down?
Am I proud of my cruel disguise?
Or hiding from my own bloodshot eyes?

Hahaha… look what you’ve become…

Why do i hate myself so much?
Is it him i’ve become or the ghost i clutch?
Am i proud of the rage that burns inside?
Or ashamed of the beast i try to hide?
I laugh in the dark, and it chills my soul
A cruel little sound i can’t control
The truth i fear, i now confess
I became the thing i hate — no less

So here I stand, with blood on my name
No one else but me to blame
It wasn’t fate, it wasn’t stealth
I built this hell — I hate myself.