Gratitude Goblins

Deep in the dungeon where the torches burn low
Lives a tribe of green goblins with a different approach
They don't swing their clubs or sharpen their knives
They journal their feelings and live mindful lives
Thank you, brave adventurer, for gracing our cave
We're grateful you're here, though you're trying to save
The princess upstairs from our terrible clan
But have you considered a self-care plan

We're the Gratitude Goblins, spreading joy and light
Weaponizing wellness in every fight
Put down your sword, let's talk about feels
Manifestation magic and chakra deals
Gratitude Goblins, we're breaking the mold
Trading our rage for stories untold
Of growth and healing and finding your bliss
What kind of fucked-up timeline is this

The barbarian charges with his axe held high
But Grunk just says Brother, I see pain in your eyes
Your anger's just trauma you haven't unpacked
Let's sit in a circle, let's get your life back
The wizard casts fireball, ready to kill
But Snurk pulls out crystals and says Chill, my dude, chill
That spell's just projection of your inner flame
Let's sage-cleanse this dungeon and release your shame

We're the Gratitude Goblins, spreading joy and light
Weaponizing wellness in every fight
Put down your sword, let's talk about feels
Manifestation magic and chakra deals
Gratitude Goblins, we're breaking the mold
Trading our rage for stories untold
Of growth and healing and finding your bliss
What kind of fucked-up timeline is this

They've got vision boards made of human skulls
Dream journals written in troll blood pools
Meditation circles where they used to feast
Your suffering ends when you love the beast
The rogue tries to sneak but steps on a bell
Grok whispers softly Hey, you're valid as hell
Your stealth is just fine, don't be so hard on yourself
Here's some kombucha from the goblin shelf

The party's confused, they came here to fight
But now they're discussing their childhood trauma all night
The goblins serve tea made from dungeon moss
While explaining how gratitude journaling's the boss
We used to raid villages, steal gold and such
But mindfulness taught us we needed self-touch
I mean self-love! says Bork with a grin
Now our greatest treasure's the peace from within

We're the Gratitude Goblins, we've found the way
Turned our dungeon into a wellness café
Trade your weapons for wisdom, your gold for some growth
We'll help you discover your authentic path
Gratitude Goblins, enlightened and free
Come join our sacred goblin therapy
The real treasure was friendship we made
Plus the princess upstairs still needs to be saved

Namaste, brave adventurer
Your chakras look great
Five-star Yelp review
Goblin enlightenment crew